Wednesday, September 2, 2009

mother bear

I've learned something not so nice about myself lately. I have a real mother bear instinct when it comes to my boys. Truly. I watched a documentary last night about a man who lives among bears and he learned the hard way that you should never come between a mother bear and her cub. The mother bear he knew and loved turned on his camera man very unexpectedly when she perceived that he was causing her cub harm. The man was shocked that the normally friendly mother put a nasty, bloody gash in his ankle. And she did it fast. Without thinking. And fiercely.

I've done the same thing lately. My son came home from an event and let me know that he'd gotten in trouble over a misunderstanding with one of my friends. Boy. Mother bear I became. I was so mad I was physically shaking and I sent an e-mail to my friend that I'm afraid may have strained my relationship with her permanently.

Today that same son came home from school in tears. He's been trying so hard to get his very strict teacher to like him and today she embarrassed him in front of the class by saying (twice) that maybe she should move his desk closer to so and so so that he could flirt with her. Grrrrrrrr. I was out the door, purse and keys in hand, teeth barred, claws out when I took a minute. Flirt? Okay, I think it's okay. She was teasing with him, right? I took a few deep breaths and remembered that we can discuss it (calmly) at Parent/Teacher conference tomorrow night. Phew. Look out. Never come between a mother bear and her poor, defenseless (perhaps naughty?) cub. Yikes. I can be scary.


Josh, Steph, The Boys and Maddie said...

I am the same way with my boys. My son was in kindergarten last year and this little boy always picked on him for no reason. The kid would only play with him if Jacob had something he wanted. But if he didn't have it then my son was not allowed to play with him at recess.

My son is so kind hearted and so sweet and would give anybody the shirt on his back so I immediately got defensive with this little boy. I met the mom and she was the same way. Stuck up, snobby and selfish... so then I stepped back and realized that I couldn't blame that little boy for acting the way he did, because he learned it from his mom who thought she was better then everyone else.

Anyways... I just had to try to explain to my son that not everyone is going to like and accept you and that is okay but you can't buy your friends either. I told him he needed to quit playing with that little boy and make different friends that will accept him for who he is.

I know your situation is totally different and the word "flirt" should not come out of a teachers mouth... PERIOD! Especially in the context that she used it. I wish you the best of luck tomorrow and I am so glad you waited until you cooled off before you talked to her. I have made the mistake so many times of speaking out of anger...

Beverly said...

Remember we are all doing the best we know how, so... cut yourself a break sometimes. As moms, it's our job to protect, even if we do it to a fault. We have to because no one else will do it for our kids. Once the dust settles, I'm sure it will be fine with your friend. I had a similar situation and tense emails were exchanged, some time went by, and all is well- same as before. And our boys were over it probably before either one of us clicked the 'send' button! haha!

He & Me + 3 said...

I think we are all that way when it comes to our kids. We just want to protect them. Where have you been lately? I was just wondering about you. Glad you posted.

Andrea Lei said...

I am the same way. It's similarly bad with little girls, but instead of their mom, I attacked the other little girl that was being a snot. I should probably grow up a little.

Charity said...

Me and a friend were just talking about this with teachers who don't truly love the students and their job. I have learned that if we just sit back nothing will change. Somebody has to take a stand and say something. If our children don't see us taking action when someone has hurt them they think we are on the other persons side. All in all it is great to be a mother bear. Your kids are with you forever and you have to protect those sweet little spirits who are in our care.

Larissa Chase said...

I saw that same documentary. I think that mom's have every right to protect their kids. Thanks for this post. I need to remember that all my kids (at Castle High School) have mom's that care about them too, and it is not hard to remember. But I hope I always treat the kids in a way that would make their Mama Bears happy, and never upset in any way!
Great Post!

Annette said...

You go right ahead and be a Moma Bear!

How did it turn out?

By the way, how have you been?

andreamatrix said...

Ha ha... I know all about momma bear. I once took on seven goths that were making fun of my son (2 at the time) in a Deseret Book Store.

Kicked them right out of the store!

I was also pregnant at the time.

The pimple faced kid at the register was just looking at me with his mouth open.